Contrasts in Care and Caring

I personally dislike stereotypes a lot. For one, I am not your "typical woman":  I am not very emotional, I don't cry easily, I am not naturally nurturing, etc ... But for the sake of this blog post NOT being about me, answer me this:  When I say "typical German", what do you think of?

Loves beer and sausage, cheers loudly for soccer, wears Lederhosen, is punctual and direct, doesn't have much of a sense of humor.  At least those are some stereotypes I've heard and read about ... and many are actually somewhat true!  

I recently had a discussion with my mother about the stoicism of old-fashioned Germans.  My mother was born in Germany shortly after World War II ended.  Her mother was a refugee from East Prussia, and my mother carried that label through her early childhood as her parents were homeless and unemployed when they arrived in the city of Frankfurt, where my Opa's family was from and re-gathered after the war.  

My Oma had fled Prussia from the Russians in 1944; she only had her baby boy and a suitcase as her husband was away due to the war.  Her parents also fled ... but with 8 children, ranging in age from 3 to about 17.  They walked endless miles on foot, crossed frozen creeks and rivers, were hungry and scared.  My great-grandmother spoke some Polish and some Russian and was able to negotiate for food and shelter easier than some Prussians on the flight.  

Funny thing is ... when my grandparents or my mother talked about these times, they never complained.  It was just facts.  They did what they had to do ... to live!  To survive!  

That isn't to say they didn't get discouraged or suffer or feel sad or frustrated.  My great-aunt self-published a book (only for our family) about their flight from Prussia.  She was among the younger of the children in the family ... maybe age 4 or 5.  She remembers fear and hunger and sadness.  Two of her older sisters also were altered very much by those months on the run.  Yet, resilience is what comes to mind when I think of them all.  

The conversation with my mother came up because I recently had to get a tooth pulled due to eroded enamel.  It was more of an ordeal than I expected, but I am so very thankful for modern medicine that I really didn't feel a thing while the dentist drilled and chiseled at the long, curved, strong root that was stubbornly embedded in my gums.  Afterwards, I brushed a hand through my hair and came up with 2 small pieces of my bloody tooth ... just a reminder of the fight it had with the dentist!  

My mother had her wisdom teeth extracted as an 18 year old ... in Germany.  The dentist, a heavy smoker, didn't practice much sanitizing or hand-washing.  My mother's mouth became incredibly infected, and she was unable to eat or do much of anything for a long time.  In our day, we would have rushed back to the dentist or went to an urgent care center for help; however, she just suffered through it for days and weeks, losing so much weight that when her body finally conquered the infection, the dentist stated, at a follow-up appointment, that he wasn't sure she was going to pull through ... but it never occurred to my mother or her parents to complain.  One just accepted one's fate and trusted in the professionals.  

What a contrast to today's medical world.  My husband and I both work in medical industries though not directly related to patient care.  We are around it daily in administrative and support capacities.  To be fair, I like to think someone enters the medical profession today to help people.  It is honestly what we want to do ... and are glad to do when someone genuinely needs help.  But may I tell you (please, don't judge me!) that there are a whole lot of whiners and users of the system out there as well. 

That isn't the point of my post.  The point is how WELL and EASY we have it in our sanitized world of modern medicine.  You still have some gruff professionals with poor bedside manner, but these days, doctors and dentists are rated by their manner as well as their know-how.  If you ask someone how their surgery went, they may tell you that they received terrific care and that the hospital staff were friendly and attentive.  Friendly and attentive are new concepts compared to the old, stoic (and sometimes barbaric!) medical professionals of years ago (with exceptions, of course!).   

In conclusion, I am just thankful.  I am a very empathetic person so when I read accounts of - for example - concentration camps, I can put myself into their situation and image the horror and inconvenience and just disgusting conditions these prisoners endured.  It is the stuff of my nightmares.  Even talking with my mother about her wisdom teeth extractions, my heart just hurts that she had to endure all those weeks of pain.  And also, I admire her.  I wish it hadn't been like that, but wow, she was one tough cookie!  A stoic, strong German girl ...